Winter Wisdom

You have reached a new level of wisdom when you don’t remember the six pieces of wisdom preceding the piece that you have been allegedly quoted upon. So I will now attempt to reconstruct all the pieces the Joker mokuroku that I don’t actually remember ever uttering:

1. Don’t run in the snow. The cardio benefits are probably not mitigated by the potential ankle, knee, and blunt force traumatic injury of falling on your @$$.
2. Don’t leave your gear in the car all day, there is nothing more futile than trying to warm-up in a subzero jiujitsugi. Either grab your gear at home just before class or bring it into your nicely heated office (if you have one).
3. Warm the mats up. Cold mats are harder and suck to fall on.
4. Not a clue. But I want 12 Winter Wisdoms.
5. Check the weather forecast and road conditions before going to class. No amount of rolling around with sweaty dudes is worth getting stuck in the snow or in a fender bender.
6. Wear gloves from home and into class, jamming your ice cold fingers onto a frigid floor ranks up there with kidney stones and child birth in pain level.
7. Wear a hat from home and into class, cold ears have vasoconstricted blood vessels that are more likely to burst if traumatized and hence produce cauliflower ear.
8. Garage training is for the late spring, summer, and early fall.
9. Cold does not sterilize. You still need to wash your combat sports attire after each use. Anecdotally the incidence of skin infections increase over the holiday season, probably because people believe that a cold, sweat-soaked gi is magically cleaned as well as the fact that people are going home and training at the filthy gyms there.
10. The cold does not cause upper respiratory tract infections (e.g. “colds”), you need germs and people infected with them to get sick. If you are snotty, sneezing, coughing, or febrile stay away. Your training is not worth my health.
11. Bring separate (dry) shoes for training, ice in treads turns into a water hazard.
12. Remove all wet attire prior to leaving practice. The Northwind will find it. And inflict frigid pain for it.