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GJ: Stop Looking Constipated

There are very few true bad @$$ess out there. I mean seriously few. When I observe anyone that I consider significantly less than dangerous attempt by facial contortions to increase their tough guy aura I usually worry that they are severely constipated and may be about to $h!t themselves. Don't get me wrong I've had some awful looking grimaces on my face when I've fought, sparred, or wrestled the guy that is weight-wise approximately two of me. However I don't have a facial seizure then I'm hitting pads, shadowbox, or drilling a technique with a cooperative partner. Think about it, if the muscles of the face which are entirely not involved with executing the action are tense, how spastic is the rest of you. Besides which I don't to be the guy training with someone who pooped himself.

So do what you have to do to chillax: meditate, pray, listen to music, do some yoga, have sex (by yourself or with a consenting partner of legal age), or huff the boo (please note Jokerjitsu does not condone illicit drug use). Your cardiovascular reserve will "increase" exponentially because you won't be wasting valuable ATP, oxygen, and thermal capacity in muscles you don't need or that may be working against you. This is supposed to be fun, the last time I checked having a tonic seizure was not part of that definition.

In order to expedite a little of the Dude in all of us we started with playing the "Prison Shiv" game. In it you play tag except everyone is it and you have to tag between the shoulder blades. You try to tag as many and be tagged as little as you can. In between we did the Spider-man drill and shadowboxing.

  1. Striking extension
    We lined up at a fixed interval in order to force full extension on strikes. Remember that stepping, body rotation, complete (non-locked) extension and rotation of the upper extremity deliver the maximal distance and hence kinetic energy (longer distance over shorter time equals higher velocity).

  2. Mobility pads
    Holding for a regular striking round but forcing maximal movement. That is, the holder advances, retreats, and circles the fighter more than they hold strikes.

  3. High/low cover
    Simply defense from the powershot, the high cover being the head shot and the low cover being the body shot. Remember that the shield is the same, the forearm and upper arm guards the ribs and the glove the head. Keep it close and gently lean into the shot. And always, always react.

  4. Pitterpat Pyramid
    30 second intervals initiated with increasing number of push-ups and followed by pitterpat drill, reseting each 30 seconds. Thus 1-2-4-8-16-32-16-8-4-2-1 push-ups, each set followed by pitterpat. Nobody looked too tough after this drill.

With the advanced guys we partnered off and traded 4-count kick combinations, defending body and head shots, taking lower extremity kicks. Subsequently we caught the last kick and delivered a return 4 count. Thus catch, deliver first kick to the anterior or posterior side of the base leg, anteriorly just above the knee or directly to the medial or lateral surface, posteriorly directly to knee or more inferiorly to the calf. One can retain the caught leg and deliver the first punch or dump the leg and deliver the punch. Subsequently finish with another punch and kick.

Next we took the kick punch entry to clinch. Either a front or rear kick to initiate, one punch to close and then throw a hard underhook as if it was a third strike. Finish with an appropriate takedown, such as an same-side outside leg reap.

We worked some G & P skills after that. Two separate rounds were used. The first placed one partner inside of the guard of the other, the top partner threw a few punches to the gloves of the other. The bottom partner then clinched and swept, going to mount. The newly mounted partner escaped the guard and the round reset, with the players in opposite positions. The other round used the throw dummies. One partner coached while the other worked the bag from the sidemount, knee on stomach, and mount positions. In addition, they took the bottom position, benching the angled bag and scooting their lower half from one side to the other of the bag.

Also I suggest everyone reread my notes on Black Holes.

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